Author Archives: amanderborner

Sep13

Instructions on how to mark calves

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First of all go to your closest agriculture shop and buy some castrating rings and an Elastrator.

Then go around the cows and calves and put them in the yards, and make sure you don’t leave any behind.

Make sure you draft the cows off the calves so you have the cows out of way.

Next put some of the calves down the run.

 Then open the gate into the crush and put about 2 calves in.

Then open the front just a little bit so the calf can see out of the crush.

After the calf is nearly out close the crushes front gate fast so the calf has its head stuck in the front.

Open up the Elastrator and put a ring on it.

Now after you have done that go into the crush, open up the Elastrator and then put the ring around the calves’ testicles but make sure you’ve got 2 testicles before you close the Elastrator and take it off.

Release the calf from the crush and put it with the cows and then repeat the last 3 steps until all the calves have been castrated then let the herd out into a new paddock.

Sep12

Minecraft

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One day while playing my favourite game, Minecraft,
planning my first house making my draft,
I saw a thing that made me shiver,
It was standing there just by the river,
I cried aloud then turned and ran,
Running away from its evil plan,
It wanted to kill me, suck out my life,
Unless I could somehow get out of this strife,
I thought for a moment, and I found out how,
how I could kill it, here and now,
I grabbed my sword, my armour and shield,
Trudging along to the battlefield,
I walked for days, looking for the beast,
After I slew him I could then be at peace,
I finally found him, down by the stream,
It was the time to turn him, into pastry cream,
I crept up slowly, step by step,
making sure I was totally prepped,
I lept out of the bushes, bringing my sword down,
that was when I turned my sword around,
It wasn’t a monster, it was a lovely duck,
I couldn’t kill this bundle of luck,
I named it Fluffy, after my bed,
That’s when it killed me, by removing my head.

By Bill